


Day 14

by Summerwolf



Series: Whumptober 2019 [14]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Hurt Peter, I can't remember how whump works...., I lied, I think this was supposed to have comfort...., I'm Sorry, MCD is from before the fic starts, Soooooooooooooo, Tear Stained, The Author Regrets Everything, Whumptober 2019, Why Did I Write This?, and it's time to cry, endgame spoilers, everyone is crying, everything hurts and nothing is beautiful, i promised myself I wouldn't listen to canon, i think we can all guess what that means, just 1000 words of hurt, me included, no beta we die like men, no comfort....., now canon is here, oh well, this was a mistake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 00:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21027002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summerwolf/pseuds/Summerwolf
Summary: 14.Tear stained.Peter stared into space. He didn't want to do anything. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel.





	Day 14

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.  
I didn't plan on ever acknowledging Endgame...... but this just happened and now I'm crying and I don't have time to turn back.
> 
> Just..... try to enjoy!!

14.Tear stained.

Peter stared into space. He didn't want to do anything. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel.

Because if he did any of these things, that would make today real. And if today was real, he couldn't keep on going like he was.

He hadn't fully comprehended it yet. He still woke up thinking it was just a bad dream. He still sat in his lessons wondering how it could be reality. How it could be his reality.

Every time he looked around him, he was reminded about how much everyone had gained. How much he had gained. But also, how much he had lost.

The ends justified the means.

But did they?

Because the ends were everything and the means were one man.

And yet that one man was everything.

Parker luck right.

His dad. His uncle. His mentor.

Richard. Ben. Tony.

All gone because of Peter.

Peter didn't think it was possible to hate himself more than he did before, but now he lost another father figure and he could feel himself spiraling.

_Useless._

_Hated._

_It's your fault they are gone._

_Your fault._

_Your fault._

And Peter knew that Tony had to die for the good of the universe, but Tony didn't want to go back in, he had a kid and a family - he was happy - and if Clint was to be believed, he did so for Peter. For all children and their parents. But also for Peter. Because he felt he couldn't abandon his kid. And now he was gone.

Peter barely registered climbing into his smart suit. Barely registered the drive to the church. Barely registered May's soothing words.

The first thing he truly noticed, was Pepper. Pepper and Morgan standing there, looking so alone and so small and so sad. And Peter could feel his heart break.

He wanted to go over, to talk to them. But the dark part of his head told him not to. They would blame him; even little Morgan would blame him and hate him. Because it was all his fault.

"Hello Peter. How are you doing?" Pepper asked sadly. At some point while Peter had been zoned out, she had walked over. And now she was asking how he was? Maybe she didn't hate him. But why wouldn't she?

"As good as can be expected." Peter replied tonelessly. He had no emotions left. He felt like all his emotions and been ripped out if him and thrown into the gaping void where his heart used to sit. It was gone now. Had disappeared at the exact same time as Thanos and his army had. It had been snapped out of existence just after being snapped back in.

Pepper pulled him into a tight hug. It felt loving. Motherly. Not like the kind of hug you would give the person you could blame for your husband's death. Maybe the kind of hug you would give someone who had stood next to you as you had both watched a loved one's life drain out of their eyes.

And that was what happened - wasn't it.

Pepper loved Tony. Of course she did. They were married. They had stuck together through thick and thin. Through Tony becoming Iron man. Through Tony nearly poisoning himself. Through the accords. Through Thanos. Through their entire world imploding.

And Peter? Tony was like a dad to him. Which was probably his downfall - the beginning of the end - Peter had always believed he was cursed. Tony had been there when Peter died and then - what felt like just hours later - Peter had been there when Tony died.

"Come on." Pepper said gently, leading both him and May towards the lake side.

There was a large crowd gathered. It was only close family and friends, but Tony was a well-loved man. Everyone who cared for him wanted to be here. To be fair, the entire city wanted to be here - but it was only close people. Apparently, Peter counted as close and sure he believed they were - he felt like they were family - he just didn't realise anyone else had picked up on it. Didn't realise that the others had been counting his as Tony's adopted son since the civil war incident.

"Hey, you Peter?" A new voice asked. Peter didn't recognise them, but then again, he had only known Tony for a few years now, of course he hadn't met everyone.

"Yeah. That's me." He said, looking up at the person who had spoken.

They were a boy a bit older than him. He seemed nice enough, but Peter was more focused on how Tony knew them. Were they another kid who Tony had adopted? Did Tony make a habit of adopting kids?

"I'm Harley. I helped Tony a bit ago during the whole Extremis fiasco." Harley explained, "I say a bit - that must have been 11 years ago."

Peter nodded, not really in the mood for talking.

"I can't believe he's really gone." Harley said sadly, his voice trembling slightly, "I keep thinking this is just a nightmare and I will wake up any second." Peter nodded in agreement. He kept thinking the same thing.

Just then, Peter's attention was dragged to where the water was gently lapping the shore, where a float was being put into the water.

There was a wreath there. A mixture of flowers and greenery and nestled right in the very centre was Tony's old arc reactor, 'proof that Tony Stark has a heart' engraved along it.

Peter could feel his tears start to slide down his face as May pulled him in close. He was sure his face had been tear stained for the last week and it seemed like that wasn't going to change any time soon.

Peter was back. He had defied death along with half the population of the universe.

But with everything. There was a price.

And the price for the universe? One life.

Just one. But one of the brightest in existence and as Peter looked around. Seeing the tear stained faces of all these people - some he knew like family, some he had barely met - Peter had to question. Was it worth it?

He wished once again he could wake up. That this wouldn't be his reality. But it was. This was reality and now he - and everyone else gathered there - had to figure out how their worlds turned without Tony.

**Author's Note:**

> Congratulations!! You survived my 1000 words of hurt!!  
If i made you cry please comment so I can feel accomplished.  
I have virtual tissues.
> 
> Anyway...... Have a good day/night!!!


End file.
